I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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