Porn is love you can see.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
he puts the penis in happiness.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I'm passing your future prison.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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