Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize