I wanna bring you to show and tell
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Randomize
