Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
