Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
So I just went to clothing optional bar
and you fell through a lawn chair
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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