So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
You need Xanax blowdarts
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize