who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
