I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
