Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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