oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
