Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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