You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize