Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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