Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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