I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
he puts the penis in happiness.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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