Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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