I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
