I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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