I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
