Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
