eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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