Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I smell like Dick and happiness
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
