I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
