were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
