Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
