FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
FUCK WHALES
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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