Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
