addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize