oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
