Me. At least after what I've been through.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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