This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
