never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
