How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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