I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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