Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
