I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
