I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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