You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
