You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
