So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
