just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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