I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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