how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
