Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
