It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
