omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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