yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
