Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
