It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
