He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
