Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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