Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Im part way to drunk.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
