Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
