i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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