; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
where does the pee come out of this thing
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I look excited, but its just a facade.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
