This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
