Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Randomize
