I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
this will be a night to untag.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
