I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
