I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
