she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
