Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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