Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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