I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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