I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
