3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
