I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize