guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
