Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
